Yes, Mom
by HeArTsAnDLeMoNs
Summary: Hitsugaya recieves a letter from his school, stating that there was going to be a Parent Teacher conference. And where was he to steal a parent for the day? Matsumoto had the perfect idea. And Hitsugaya didn't like it one bit. drabbled. CHAPPY 2 IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

The tenth division was always looked down on.

When the commoners learned of the people who command it, they snicker.

Just by looking at them -- a young boy with a dark scowl and ominous frown on his face and a busty and carefree fukutaichou laughing heartily -- it gives the viewer an impression that the graceful model - like vice captain who had a little too much exposed had denied the little boy candy.

Matsumoto Rangiku chuckles at this stereotypical account of the tenth division, while her captain simply couldn't care less. "Let them believe whatever they want to believe. I don't care" he would say. But she knew that he had to fight the urge of freezing them to their very core whenever he heard them call him a kid.

It happened often, especially now that they were in the human world, with Hitsugaya permanently branded as a pre - teen. In actual shinigami years, of course, he only had a couple more centuries left before he hits puberty. Something which he had been dreading. It was the only thing that he can't freeze over.

"Oooy, Taichou" he heard a voice call him. He looked up from his paperwork as he heard the familiarly rich voice of his fukutaichou.

Matsumoto Rangiku walked inside with a letter in one hand and an open envelope in another.

"Nani desu yo?" he asked in an irritated tone of voice.

"It's what came in the mail today" She said, waving the letter as she leaned on the doorway.

"It's a letter from the school. _Your_ school"

"Great. More things I have to put up with" he scowled.

"Taichou" Rangiku looked at him with a serious expression on her face. "This is serious.They've written that they want a Parent - Teacher conference. Ne, Taichou, what did you do?"

"What do you mean what did_ I_ do?!"

"Orihime - chan says that it's bad if they ask for a Parent - Teacher conference"

"Just throw that away and pretend that you never recieved it"

"Taichou, they'll keep sending letters and maybe even come here! Maybe they'll discover our true identities!" Rangiku looked at him with her bright blue eyes.

Her stuff which captivates people more than her bust does.

Her taichou, of course, seemed unaffected. This was because of his adequate knowledge of his vice captain and his extreme lack of hormones.

"Geez. What a hassle. Where do they expect me to steal a parent for a day?!" He muttered, waving his paperwork in the air.

"Well..." Rangiku gave a small smile.

Hitsugaya didn't like that smile.

Nope. He didn't like it one bit.

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"Taichou! Hurry up!" she called, standing in the living room of Inoue Orihime's apartment.

Her hair was neatly clipped to make her look older. She wore a pale blue dress embroidered with white and pale green flowers which looked like they seemed to be falling and gathering at the bottom of her dress.

It had small straps and a somewhat low front -- just like how Rangiku liked it.

It was a little something Inoue had dug out of her closet.

To throw it off, Rangiku had gotten a pale brown trench coat, which, as Inoue had isntructed her, she would hang on a metal tree with branches sticking out in a uniform manner, otherwise known as a coat hanger.

Hitsugaya barged out of Inoue's room, wherein Inoue had laid out his clothes.

A pale pink polo shirt and a pair of brown jeans.

Rangiku had asked Inoue to find something that made them look decent.

"What the hell is this?" Hitsugaya muttered.

"Taichouuuuuuuuu" Rangiku squealed. "You look _adorable_!"

Rangiku was holding a camera.

"Don't even think about it"

"Say cheeeeeese!"

"IF YOU TOUCH TH---"

_click._

"It's not that bad" Rangiku looked at the picture. It was a digital camera.

Hitsugaya was red mad.

"When we get back, i swear i'll give you ten times more paperwork!!"

"Taichouuuuu! that's just mean!"

"Break that camera. Erase all evidence"

"But you look so cute"

"Can it"

"I could frame it and hang it on the 10th Division office"

"Don't even think about it!"

"Geez. Taichou. You can really be crabby at times"

"Just shut up" he scowled as Rangiku opened the front door for them.

"That's not how you should talk to your mother,_ Toshirou_" she teased.

"MATSUMOTO!!!"

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The teacher looked up from her record book to face Matsumoto throwing her coat on top of a bookshelf. She had obviously forgotten what Inoue had told her.

Hitsugaya didn't care about bringing a coat, although he froze on the way to the school. No matter, Matsumoto shared her coat with him, which made him blush crimson red.

"Good Morning" Rangiku smiled at Hitsugaya's teacher, who was raising her eyebrow at her.

She was a brunette with her hair tied behind her head in a knot. Her glasses made her look formal and business - like.

"Uhh, you must be Toshirou's...mother?" she asked as Rangiku took a seat in front of her desk. Toshirou took the seat across her.

"Yes, I am. Matsumoto Rangiku, pleased to meet you"

The teacher looked at the both of them, seeing no resemblance.

"Is he your biological son?"

"Oh, yes" Rangiku nodded. "I had a lot of trouble bearing him those times"

"I don't see much resemblance, though"

"He looks more like his father" Rangiku smiled sweetly.

The teacher gave a small smile. "I'm sure"

Hitsugaya gave a little scowl.

"Is he your only child?"

"Yes, and he turned out perfectly" Rangiku pinched Hitsugaya's cheek.

The teacher was still smiling at this.

"Are you a single mother?" she asked again.

_'Geez'_ Rangiku thought. _'This was supposed to be about the taichou'._

"Well, yes" Rangiku smiled sweetly.

"You look awfully young"

_'Bitch!'_

"Oh" Rangiku gave a little laugh. "It's just the make up"

The teacher kept her smile. "Oh i see"

"Now i'm sure you called me because of something concerning my _son,_ I'd like to know what that is" Rangiku spoke.

Every time Hitsugaya heard the word 'son', he cringed.

Just the thought of Matsumoto being your mother ---- (shudders)

"Well you see" the Teacher opened her record book. "He is doing fine, academically. He gets a perfect score in everything. It's just that his subject teachers are having a problem with him _behaviorwise_"

"I see" Matsumoto nodded, as if she was in deep thought, like how Inoue taught her.

_'Geez. Is that it? You should see the Taichou back in Seireitei'_

Hitsugaya seemed to have read her mind since he shot her a glare.

"Well, if he rarely pays attention in class. At the point wherein he practically never pays attention in class. If he's not asleep, he walks out of the classroom and doesn't listen to whatever the teachers tell him. He sometimes talks back, which is very disrespectful" The teacher tells her.

_'Sheesh. what else is new?'_

"Isn't it your responsibility to keep him in the classroom and make him participate?" Rangiku asked.

"It is, but it has gotten to the point wherein he doesn't seem to care about what any of the teachers say. It seems that he is craving for attention"

_'Ha!'_

"I see" Rangiku nodded, as if concerned. "Well, he is a very sensitive child. And since i work three jobs, i don't think i've given him enough attention"

Hitsugaya released a considerable amount of reiatsu.

As to why: Keywords:

1.) Sensitive

2.) Child

"It really does seem so" The teacher nodded in agreement, still keeping that smile on her face.

"Where do you live?" she asked.

_'I live with Orihime-chan in her apartment while the Taichou sleeps on the roof. He doesn't need a blanket because he can control the weather'_

"At the Seireitei Subdivision, Rukongai street" Rangiku briefly answered.

Hitsugaya raised his eyebrow at this.

"Really?" The Teacher asked. "I've never heard of that place before"

"Oh, it's very far away" Rangiku waved her hand in the air. "Which i think is why my son seems to be craving for attention. I leave before he wakes up as to get to work early, and when i go back home he's already asleep" she sighed.

"But I can't do much, of course. I have to do it to keep us alive. I just wish that he'd understand that" Rangiku looked like she was burdened, Just like how Inoue taught her.

_'Hand on chest. Tilt your head. Not that far. Look down. Frown. Not that much. Okay, now sigh. Shake head a little. Stop.'_

_'Geez'_ Hitsugaya thought_. 'If she lived here on earth and didn't have a position back in Soul Society, she could make a living as an actress'_

"One more thing" The teacher looked at them, still smiling. "Your son seems to be very morbid"

"Morbid?" Rangiku asked.

"Yes. He always seems to talk about Blood, war, gore and... death gods?"

"Oh, this is just what too much television can bring!"

_'Throw head back. wave hand in the air. Frown. Put hand down. Sigh. Look at teacher in the eye'_

"I keep telling him not to watch too much of it" Rangiku began. "But he seems to rebel against whatever I say. I try to make him understand that I can't be there at times wherein i have to, but he simply won't. It's a very difficult life"

_'Hand on chest. Frown. Look down. Gasp for air. Not that much. Sniff. Louder.'_

"Don't you think you should spend more time with him?" The teacher asked.

"Oh, my jobs inhibit me from doing so. I work seven days a week, fifteen hours a day, just so i could keep our way of living"

It looked like a sob fest.

Hitsugaya growled.

"I understand that it should be hard for him to grow up alone" Rangiku sighed.

It really looked like she was emoting.

More than the usual, at least.

Hitsugaya narrowed his eyes.What the hell was she doing? The agreement was that she nods at whatever the teacher says.

"I almost died at childbirth"

_'WTF?!'_

"But seeing him now is worth it" Rangiku looked at him with kind and loving eyes, but Hitsugaya could see a flicker of sadistic amusement.

"You have a very kind and loving mother, Toshirou" The teacher looked at him.

Matsumoto felt her taichou's reiatsu steadily rising.

He saw her snicker.

_'This is fun'_

"You should really learn from her" The teacher kept that plastic smile plastered on her face.

"Well, if that's it, then I think we can go already" Rangiku looked at her watch, knowing that in a while hollows would pop up.

"That certainly does cover it" The teacher said. she looked at Toushirou. "I expect a change from you, young man" she said sternly. The smile was still there.

"Well, My Toushirou is a good boy"

_'Curse you, Matsumoto'_

Hitsugaya glared at her.

Rangiku picked her coat up from the shelf.

"Thank you for coming" The teacher nodded.

"It was a pleasure" Rangiku answered as she opened the door, only to be followed by a hissing taichou.

"Ne, Taichou, why do you look so crabby?" She smiled. "Come on. I'll buy you some ice cream"

Rangiku felt a significant decrease in her taichou's reiatsu.

"If you want, i can have some chocolate sprinkled on top"

"Just what do you think of me?" he hissed.

"Taichou, geez. It's only ice cream" she smiled.

Hitsugaya sighed.

Despite her procrastination in terms of paperwork and sadisticism in terms of everything else, Hitsugaya Toushirou, deep inside, was still happy that she was his vice captain.

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End.

That was it. I'm not sure how i did though. I wrote to pass time since i'm home "sick" from school.

Reviews, Constructive Criticism and even Flamers will be appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

Wow. I got 20 something reviews. thanks so much!

And yayness to dogfood4free who...found my fic among the others... and cursed me for it...well it's your birthday today anyway! (Yeah, it is Feb 26)

um, this fic was supposed to have one chap only...but...um...yeah...

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**Chapter 2**

Ice Cream was a rare commodity in Soul Society, so the fact that his vice captain was understanding enough to treat him to some made Hitsugaya happy enough.

"Ne, Toshirou, I like your happy face" Rangiku grinned

"Shut up. And It's Hitsugaya Taichou to you, Matusmoto" he growled.

"What? But I'm your _mom_, remember?" Rangiku winked as they approached the ice cream shop.

"Dammit, Matsumoto, when we get back, i'm making sure to it that you won't be able to sleep for the next 4 weeks because of paperwork!!" Hitsugaya hissed.

"I don't think that you're allowed to punish me just because I'm keeping us from blowing our cover" Rangiku said with that certain smile of hers. The one that indicated sadistic pleasure.

"It's not punishment, baka! It's your actual duty which you've been sleeping on and which I've been cleaning up" He grumbled, with his reiatsu steadily rising.

"You've been watching too much... what does Inoue call that again? Right...Television. Yeah, you've been watching too much of that, haven't you?" Rangiku ruffled his hair as they walked into the Ice Cream shop.

"That's freaking irrelevant, Dammit!" Hitsugaya's eyes changed color from teal to icy blue. ooooh.

"It's not good to raise your voice when you're speaking to your mother, _Toshirou_" She teased.

"MATSUMOTO!!"

Teasing the Taichou was fun.

Well, Hitsugaya's little outburst caused a lot of people to stair at the odd twosome.

"Geez, taichou, watch the adrenalin" she murmured as they approached the counter, with several pairs of eyes staring at them.

"Ne, _Toshirou,_ pick any flavor you want! It's your treat for topping your class!" She grinned, once again ruffling her taichou's already messy hair.

Hitsugaya gave her a little glare.

_'Damn you, Matsumoto'_ he thought.

_'Ne, Taichou, I can hear you, you know,' _Rangiku thought, interrupting her taichou's little line of insults.

_'You can HEAR me?!'_

_'Yeah, and what you've been thinking was so mean' _

_'Why the hell, why?!'_

_'I think it's the little device Yamamoto Taichou gave us before leaving, you know, the one wherein we can communicate with each other telepathetically without the opponent's knowing it'_

_'Why must you invade every bit of my privacy, Matsumoto?!'_

_'It's work related, remember? And it really is a good thing that Urahara made this little device. It certainly is very helpful'_

_'Damn you, Urahara'_

_'I'm glad that I suggested using something like this to Yama Taichou before leaving'_

_'Damn you, Matsumoto'_

_'And you should start calling me mom instead of Matsumoto or else people will wonder'_

_'DAMN'_

_'And you should really stop cursing because it's not good, **Toshirou**'_

_'MATSUMOTO!!!!!!'_

Hitsugaya was red in the face, glaring at Matsumoto who was beaming at the registrar, having a light conversation with him while carrying a deeper one with her taichou at the exact same time. Hey, she didn't become a vice captain for no reason at all.

"It's getting a little too cold in here, don't you think? the air conditioner must be broken again" the registrar dude said, motioning for someone to turn it off.

"It's fine, actually. In my subdivision, little blizzards happen all the time"

"Really? Even at this time of the year?"

"Well, yeah, sure"

_'Matsumoto, this will be your death'_

Hitsugaya faced the display of ice cream, cooling down... or warming up, rather.

Hitsugaya gaped at the pretty display of colors, imagining a scoop of each one atop of his cone.

"You can get whatever you want, Toshirou" Rangiku beamed

_'Damn. You had to spoil my mood'_

"You must really be proud of your little boy" the registrar, a dude in his mid twenties, nodded.

"Well, he tried so hard, being very diligent and all" she smiled, similar to that plastic one she copied from Hitsugaya's teacher.

'_Yeah, you're glad that I didn't turn out like you'_

_'Ouch, Taichou. True, but OUCH'_

"Is he really your biological son?"

_'I wonder why people keep asking that'_

"Of course he is!" Rangiku beamed some more. "And yup, I am proud that he is"

"I'm really sure you must be" The registrar dude nodded.

_'Hey, he's nice'_

_'He likes your ass, Matsumoto'_

_'But he can't see my ass'_

_'Then it's your cleavage'_

_'Really?'_

_'What else can it be?!'_

_'Naaaaaah'_

"Have you chosen what you want, Little boy?" The registrar smiled

_'Little f--(bleep)--ing WHAT?!'_

_'T**O**SHIR**OU**!!'_

_'You're getting a hang of this, aren't you?'_

"Toshirou, you should really get rid of your habit wherein you sometimes don't answer when you're called" Matsumoto scolded, doing that finger thingy in the process. (You know, like how you move your index finger back and forth when you're scolding someone or something)

Hitsugaya hissed.

The atmosphere became much colder.

"No, I haven't decided yet" he glared.

Rangiku turned back to talk to the registrar, plastering that saccharine smile back on her face.

_'Matsumoto, you're a manwhore'_

_'No, I'm not. I'm trying to make him think that we're normal, especially after you almost blew our cover a while ago'_

_'Being normal doesn't mean being slutty'_

_'Where did you learn that word?'_

_'From you'_

_'Really? I say that?'_

_**'YES'**_

_'Oh'_

Hitsugaya turned back to the display of ice cream. He honestly didn't even know what flavor to choose. If ever he saw ice cream in Soul Society, which happened very, _very_ rarely, it usually came in one flavor and one flavor only.

Now here were flavors he hadn't even heard of before: Vanilla, Chocolate, Bubblegum and even Peanutbutter!

Hitsugaya gaped at the display. He was so engrossed in choosing a flavor, that he didn't even notice his vice captain's amused smile.

"Are you a single mother?" the registrar asked her.

"It's amazing how everybody can guess that" Rangiku nodded, astonished. No, she really _was _amazed.

"Well, you look so young" he commented

_'Was that a compliment?'_

"Oh shush" Rangiku gave a light laugh, which she had copied from Rukia in school.

"I haven't seen you around here, often" He observed.

"Well, We live quite far from here. We only stopped by because we came from his school, which isn't very far actually but he doesn't like ice cream very much" Rangiku nodded, as if deep in thought.

"Really? your son seems to be very fond of it" He observed.

Once again, Hitsugaya cringed at the mention of him being Matsumoto's son.

"Well, he hasn't tasted some in quite a while" Matsumoto shrugged.

"Really? Too bad. Usually children are very fond of ice cream, which is why this shop is stationed near a school" The registrar stated.

Hitsugaya, again, cringed at being called a child.

"Well, he doesn't interact very well with his other classmates" Matsumoto nodded.

_'Curse you'_

_'Well, it's true, isn't it?'_

_'No it's not'_

_'Yes, it is'_

_'You're not in my class, You wouldn't know'_

_'Oh yeah, name one classmate of yours'_

_'Well...'_

_'Ha!'_

_'Just shut up'_

"Really?" The registrar asked. "What school does he go to?"

_'What school do you go to?'_

_'I don't know'_

_'Really? You're a student there! you're supposed to know!'_

_'You're a student there too!'_

_'Hey, I'm not the kid genius'_

"Oh, I really don't know" she said, leaning on the counter. "He just transferred, actually"

_'You're emphasizing your chest'_

_'I'm trying to make him drop the question'_

_'You're being slutty'_

_'Stop using that word!'_

_'Hypocrite'_

"Well, you should stop by more often" The registrar told Matsumoto. "Especially since we'll be having specials starting next week"

"I'll be looking forward to that" Rangiku beamed.

"Toshirou" Matsumoto faced Hitsugaya. "Have you decided already?"

Hitsugaya stared at the display a little more. "Chocolate" he mumbled.

_'Damn. This is so degrading'_

"Nani?" Rangiku asked again, with sadistic pleasure.

_'Chocolate, Dammit! CHOCOLATE!'_

_'Awww'_

_'Shut. up.'_

"Ch-Chocolate" Hitsugaya stammered.

The dude walked over to the display and got him a couple of scoops of it.

Hitsugaya was red angry when he recieved the ice cream from the dude, who got creeped out.

Hitsugaya barged out of the shop, with Matsumoto trailing behind him, forgetting that she had to pay the guy for the ice cream.The guy just stared, dwelling on the the heavens that once set before him.

"Ne, Taichou" Matsumoto smiled as they walked out. "You should really learn how to handle your reiatsu. Everybody inside just put on their sweaters even after that other guy turned the air conditioner off"

"Well, how dare they call me a kid"

"You _are_ a kid, Taichou" She grinned, pinching his cheek.

"Matsumoto" he growled, holding his ice cream in one hand."Nobody will hear of this"

"Come on, ice cream isn't _that _degrading"

"Nobody. Will. Hear. Of. This." He hissed.

"Sheesh. Fine. Taichou, you can be such a killjoy" Rangiku waved her hand in the air.

(Moments of silence)

"You told someone already, didn't you?"

"Only Madarame and Renji, via SMS"

**"MATSUMOTO!!!"**

And thus ends Chapter 2.

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(A/N: Is there really Bubblegum and Peanut butter ice cream? In my country we only usually have mango, chocolate and ube. Well duh, it's under third world.)

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Um... I don't know how I did, really...

Just so you know, Reviews, Flamers and criticism are welcome like a nice big heap of ice cream


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